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Keyboard Romance

It was accidental.  He ran into her in front of Macy's Department store on 34th Street.  He was entering as she was leaving.  After a second of silence and hesitation, she hugs him.  They stare at each other.

He says, "ahhh..."
She says, "hmmm..."
He says, "ahamm..."

She reaches into her handbag and retrieves her Iphone and texts, “Hello”
His Iphone chimes.  He retrieves his phone from his waist holder. It’s a text, “Hello”
He texts back, “hi”
Her cell phone dings, a text, “hi”
He sends another text, “whatcha doing?”
She texts, "Valentine shopping for hubby.  Can’t find anything interesting.”
“Get him something he wouldn't get himself”
“Like what?”
“What's he like?”
"He's like you"
"But not as handsome and sexy as me."
She smiles at her screen and texts, "You would have made a great husband."
He smiles at his screen and texts, "Another time, another place.…

Princess marries a Frog

As spiteful witches go, Gingema, Wicked Witch of the East, was worse than worst. But, despite her evil ways, Gingema fell in love with a prince. It is written, somewhere, that a prince can only marry a princess. Since Gingema could not have the handsome Prince Edward for herself, she resolved that no other woman could have him either. Gingema cast her most evil spell ever and changed Prince Edward into a frog. The Prince as frog could do naught but to hop to the pond and join the other frogs living there.

As princes go, Edward was very friendly. The frogs of the pond liked him and invited him to stay with them. There was one lady frog, we shall name her Camille, who caught Edward’s eye. Edward caught her eye also and she smiled at him. Soon they were betrothed.

For a lady frog, Camille was beautiful. She caught the eye of many frogs in the pond. But there was one -- call him Greeny for he was a meany -- who was jealous that Camille loved Edward. Greeny resolved to take action.

Gr…

Here's how it works, Dad...

Today I was watching a rerun of an old reality series called Supernanny. A very experienced English Nanny named Jo Frost receives DVDs from families in the US, showing the parenting difficulties they're having and asking for help. Jo travels to their home, observes the family dynamics, demonstrates her techniques for helping kids get in line, goes away for a short while while the cameras continue filming, then comes back, and fine-tunes her advice to the family. At the end of the hour, which is a couple of weeks in real time, everything is back in balance and harmony. It's definitely a formula type show, but still interesting to watch what goes on in some homes.
In the episode I watched today, the wife had three children, all elementary school age, one with a pretty severe case of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and she was also pregnant. Her husband worked as a postal carrier. He came home from work every day, gave a casual

There must be some misunderstanding

A certain genetic strain in my mom's family produces people who can GROW THINGS. My cousin Maureen, for example, has an organic farm in Napa Valley. Her dad could grow anything, anywhere: he grew basic fruits and veggies in upstate New York and New England, then moved to South Florida in his sixties and without missing a beat, began growing citrus (oranges, grapefruits, tangerines, carambola and mango) along with the basic fruits and veggies. Then he moved back to New England and despite having little more than a postage-sized plot of land behind a townhouse, figured out how to grow cabbages. Of course.

He got this green thumb from my grandfather. Two of my best childhood memories come directly out of Grandpa's tiny little garden in upstate New York.


The Grandma Niche

What? I didn't tell you about my grandbaby? Oh, sure I did! I wouldn't be a grandma if I didn't brag obsessively about the little rugrat who's currently toddling his way into my heart.

No, actually, I haven't done much of that since he came into the world nearly a year and a half ago. He's doing fine. Unfortunately, I don't get to see much of him because my evil son and his wife took the helpless munchkin and moved north, about 100 miles (and one time zone) away.

Okay, okay, they're not evil at all. In fact, they're extremely responsible parents, looking for the right home and set of circumstances in which to raise Tyler. That means moving away from our growing city to a place with lower rents but also fewer abundant employment opportunities. That means my son works two jobs. His wife works one, and when both parents are out earning a living, a friend takes care of Tyler, who likes it just fine.

My husband Carl, who is actually zero blood relation …

Art of Seduction

A colleague at work recommended The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.It’s exactly what you think, a book of strategies to seduce men and women.

As typical guys do, my colleague and I were chatting about women.My colleague expressed reservations about a new relationship with a woman he met and he was using this book as a guide to make up his mind.He picked up on something about her – he did not say what – that left him concerned.

My first impression of The Art of Seduction is, how cynical.We all have used seduction techniques at some point.Think how much time you spend selecting your clothes for your date because you want to look attractive to the other person.The thing is that both of you are interested in dating each other.The implication from this book is to use deception because your target is uninterested in you and you can pretend to be someone they might like to well, sleep with.

My second impression is, this book is useful.There are femme fatales lurking out there.I have no idea …