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Gone Shopping

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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Dracula escorted his newly created undead aide into the store.

"...and you need to sleep in the daytime," he explained.

"But what are we doing here in Sleepy's Mattress store?" asked his aide. "I thought we slept in coffins."

"We are modern now," replied Dracula. "We use a mattress like anyone else. I tell you, after two hundred years of sleeping on rock and dirt, this is a joy. So much more comfortable and you don't have to haul it around from place to place."

"Amazing," said the aide.

"For a newbie like you, maybe you want to go traditional. Sleepy's has a Posturedic that will fit inside a coffin."

"What do you use?" asked the aide.

"I have a sleep-number bed. I love it. Mrs. Dracula can toss and turn and I don't feel it on my side."

"Now that you mention the ladies, I think I will skip the coffin. A moo…

My TV Family

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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I watched a TV commercial for an upcoming show: Sheldon of The Big Bang Theory as a little boy interacting with his siblings and his parents.  A realization hit me. All TV shows are about family.  All TV shows are about groups of people and how they interact with each other.  

Name the show and there is family.  Take Scandal.  I don't watch the show but the little I see is how the people in the firm interact with each other.  Hospital shows, House or M*A*S*H  to throw out names, are automatically family shows since the core is always a medical team of doctors, nurses, X-ray techs and the obstreperous bean counters.  Even a crime show where there are only two characters is a family show.  Think of Sherlock Holmes and Watson in Elementary.  That must make the police cousins of some sort.  Say, why aren't Holmes and Watson getting it on?  Watson is so hot! 

We, the audience, are the extended family. We get sucked into the shows' drama, picking …

Hurricane Madness

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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Four Hurricanes in the space of one month!

I am home, warm sunny weather, clear blue sky. The people in the city are going about their business. There is a fall festival this weekend.  The local baseball team plays on.

Meanwhile, Houston went underwater.  Some of my family planned to move to Houston this summer for work.  Instead, they moved to Dallas.  Two weeks later, Hurricane Harvey hit Houston.  They missed the Houston floods but other folks got caught up in it. 

The Caribbean Islands got hit by two hurricanes in the space of four days.  Mexico had both an earthquake and a hurricane hit the same place in two days.  We can only pray for them.

Now I am watching Hurricane Irma.  Many fled to a safe place only to find that they are still in danger.  Some of my family fled Miami to cousins in Atlanta and now Atlanta is threatened by Irma.

Some family stayed in Florida. I worry about them.  Hurricane Irma shifted its path and looks to hit Florida on the …

The Art of Hiring

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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A casting director was speaking on selecting actors:  "When they leave the room, you know that they are not quite right.  When they are right you know it immediately. But many times, you just pick the best of those who show up."  How unlike the hiring process at many companies.

There is a saying in business hiring, A people hire B people and B people hire C people, and so on.  You would think that businesses would want to hire the best candidates.  Not true - it's not just a talent thing.

Many successful businesses intentionally hire an A person and surround them with B people.  Imagine a salesman who has a team built around him.  He is so successful that he is paid more money than all the employees of the company added together.  I would hate him but - and this is is a huge BUT - he keeps the company profitable and my job alive.  Still, I hate him.  Think what you could d…

The Eclipse

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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 It’s seven o’clock in the morning and you get up raring to go. There is a lunar eclipse today at high noon and you plan to brew an extremely rare potion. It’s the one that uses the petals of the Lunar Lotus, a flower that blooms only in the few minutes of a lunar eclipse, once every one hundred years.

You run to your workroom, grab the potted Lunar Lotus that has been passed down through generations of family wizards to you. You jump on your flying carpet and head out to the highest mountain peak three thousand miles away. On the way there you see clouds and they turn into rain. Oh no, clouds, rain, no lunar eclipse to shine on the Lunar Lotus. What to do? There is always a weather control spell, but your spell manual is back at your workshop.

You fly back at top speed, run to your workshop, stepping on your pet dragon’s tail. Oww, he singes you in retaliation. Oh well, to the bookshelf. Where is it? Where is it? Oh no!  and you slap y…

A Breed Apart

Those who have been following this blog since its inception may recall some posts about an individual I nicknamed The Scorpion Queen. She was my supervisor from 2006 through half of 2009, and while our offices were eventually 45 miles and two states apart, she continued to be the bane of my existence whenever she could get away with it.

Until she got fired.

Here I am, with a big grin on my face, just thinking about that day...

That happened in 2012, one year after another major upheaval at the executive level. The male CEO was summarily ousted by the other members of the board, and a female shareholder was asked to take the reins.