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My Furry Little Biohazard

Well, I don't have to worry about the Phone Folks for awhile.

There are two other neighborhood associations that work with us; they both use the robo-call system.  We all received the same email, requesting that we use it to contact other residents and remind them to complete and return an annual survey.

After finally getting the thing to work, I attempted to make a call, only to run into another hurdle.  The email I'd received gave me the idea to enlist the aid of the other two associations -- if their system was working right, maybe I could get some help without having to jump through hoops with Tech Support.


That was Wednesday night.  Thursday and Friday I received no response to my SOS, but I wasn't worrying about it.  The laptop wasn't going anywhere; I kept it in a soft-sided case (not completely zipped, due to all the wires), which I believed would protect the computer from the worst of my cat's depredations.  She likes to sit and lie on top of it, I guess because it's warm, but I didn't want the laptop cover damaged by her claws or intensive grooming sessions.

So... at 7:00 this morning I'm sitting here, surfing around, and I hear the unmistakable sound of FHE (Feline Hairball Ejection) coming from the hallway outside the room.  In typical cat-owner fashion, I called out "Precious, are you okay?" which, when you think about it, is a really stupid thing to do.  What sort of reply do we brilliant humans expect from a cat (or another person, for that matter) who's busy vomiting?

I should have kept quiet and let her finish.  Because apparently, the sound of my voice startled her.  She left off her FHE activity long enough to go tearing into the other room, where she came to a complete halt in front of the laptop and yarked approximately 10 lbs. of semi-digested cat food squarely onto the laptop case.  Which promptly commenced dribbling down into the open side of the case, onto the laptop, under the laptop, and into whichever vents or openings it could find.

My activities during the next five minutes consisted of (1) emitting a blood-curdling scream, (2) hollering at the cat, employing various terms which have long since been disavowed by the American Psychological Association (such as moron, imbecile and idiot),  (3) rediscovering the joys of unbridled profanity, (4) removing the laptop from the case and attempting to clean it off, (6) running the vinyl case under the shower spray, and (6) more of (2) and (3).

Hoping against hope that the laptop was tough enough to withstand a liquid onslaught, I switched it on, watched the little green power light flicker for a moment, and then disappear forever.

I then had to email my friend at the nonprofit association and inform her of this felicitous event.  She's a cat owner; I hope she's had experience with this type of occurrence.  If not, she's no doubt going to have the same skeptical reaction I've had in years past, listening to my son describe how a friend "jokingly" ripped a $700 laptop out of his hands and tossed it into a swimming pool, or how he "somehow" dropped an iPhone into the toilet.

Maybe I'll get a dog in April and let it eat my tax return...

ETA:  LOL - Google AdSense has retooled their offerings based on the subject matter.  For example:
Understand Your Cat
A cat's behavior is always strange Learn why and what to do about it.
www.thedailycat.com/

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