Skip to main content

Do not find me fascinating unless I ask you to.

Simple enough? I'm sure discerning readers of this blog will think so, but apparently, some people out there need schoolin'.

I'm facing a situation at work where one person in particular seems determined to "figure me out." This person wants to know what I'm thinking and feeling, and why I make that face or use that tone of voice.

I say (silently), leave me alone, stay out of my face, and let me do my job.


The work is hard enough. Busy phones, mountains of paperwork, and an ever-growing list of rules and procedures. That's the job. I want to do it and get it right.

I can't do any of the above when half a dozen "meetings" are called every day this particular manager visits. Meetings in which we are constantly reminded that some manager above him is pushing for more daily productivity; that other branches somehow do a better job of getting this done, and that our jobs depend on us improving.

Fine. I can deal with all of that. But not when I'm standing in a little room with my co-workers, listening to the same spiel over and over again.

And not when I go back to my desk after being told for the 10,000th time "Vol-E, you look like you're not happy about this. Your eyebrow lifted just now, or your lip curled, or your nose twitched, or you looked away from me for .0004 seconds, which could also be interpreted as rolling your eyes in annoyance, and you shifted your stance from one leg to the other, and..." The manager, you see, is a big self-improvement junkie and he's been reading all those books about body language. So universe forbid I should ever, ever cross my arms while he's talking, because that indicates "resistance."

Maybe I should fart. That would clear the room in a hurry and take "body language" to a whole new level.

Seriously, though, I really hate being "analyzed" and "studied."  I had a 4th-grade teacher who had a similar reaction to me (yes, I have been a Woman of Mystery for a long, long time...). He went so far as to send me to the school psychologist for several sessions because I was quiet and dreamy. We now realize that this is attention-deficit disorder without hyperactivity, but back then, the diagnosis was "strange little kid who probably has trouble at home."

In the intervening decades, I've learned how to channel my attention better, structure my days, plan my work and work my plan.

Now that I've learned all this, get out of my face and let me do it.
Mr. Manager won't be back at the office for a few more days, so maybe I can actually be productive.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Subway Journey Home

by The Urban Blabbermouth. Comments are welcome! ~ There is a ritual to theNew York City subway system. Once there, you lose your humanity.  You are transformed into a savage, brutal and selfish automaton.  Savage in that you push and shove other riders out of your way to get into the subway car.  Brutal in that you never excuse yourself for any atrocities that you commit to get in the subway car.  Selfish in that you never give up your seat to anyone, no matter how crippled or old or pregnant they are.  Automaton in that you never look at any one else as a human being.

Now there are certain strategies that you can employ to be a successful subway rider.  You can stand by the door and obstruct the way just to be selfish and ornery.  That strategy is designed to increase your standing with your fellow passengers by impressing them with how vicious you can be pushing back at people trying to push into the car.  Whenever I see this strategy employed, I immediately piggy back on it.  I move …

Im gonna git u Sukkah

by The Urban Blabbermouth [who may or may not be shown in the photo above... - v-E] ~ True story. I am walking to my car and I notice a couple of Jewish fellows, twenty somethings, with the bouquets of what looks like bamboo or palm. I know they are Jewish for they look Hasidic. They are wearing long black jackets, wide brim black fedora hats, and have curly sideburns. In truth, I classify all Jewish who dress like this as Hasidic although they may identify themselves differently. They are standing near the corner canvassing passersby.

Encyclopedia Brown Bear

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
At an age when other children decide to set up lemonade stands, Baby Bear decided to start a detective agency. His decision resulted from his experience in the Goldilocks home invasion. If you don't know this well-publicized crime case, Google Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Baby Bear wanted to become a policeman to help the other denizens of the Forest with their troubles and to maintain justice for all. Alas, the police did not accept children as applicants.

Baby Bear ran to his community library and borrowed the renowned guide, The Hardy Boys' Detective Handbook. Baby Bear spent the next twenty days, the library's lending period, studying the text. He chose the business name of "Encyclopedia Brown Bear Detective Agency" after his hero, Leroy "Encyclopedia” Brown. Baby Bear's dad hung the business sign across the garage door and opened a folding card table and four chairs in the entrance below.

On the first day, the Big Bad Wolf…