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Wrong, and then some

Well, she's gone. And I miss her. Yeah, I know. My previous snarky post about the temp was premature and unfair.
She's a pretty nice person. For all of her somewhat exhibitionistic tendencies, she now impresses me as an honest person without much artifice. Yes, she's a slacker, not terribly concerned about showing up on time, let alone early, and while she's clearly not on a "career track" in life, she apparently knows this and is not bothered by it.

I think this change of heart about Beverly has a great deal to do with my overall attitude -- most of March was spent in a low-grade depression. There was job stress, the usual money stress, and even weather-related stress, where what looked like a right-on-time spring suddenly reversed course and we were dragging out the winter coats and sleeping bags again.

But there's more to this whole mindset -- it was projection. Having spent a considerable number of months temping with this organization, followed by permanent employment for the last four years, I got a good dose of the hypercritical, distrustful atmosphere that pervades the company. You're either "in" or you're "out," and there are concentric circles of innitude (a word you will not find in the dictionary). I think having someone to pick apart for less-than-stellar work habits gave me that pathetically fleeting sense of superiority. This whole plan to get me a temp filled me from the start with unease, as in "What? You don't think I can do my job? You don't think I can perform two dozen daily functions under pressure and not miss a beat when the phone rings incessantly?"  I've been absorbing the ethos of The Scorpion Queen in an attempt to beat her at her own game. Scolding, lecturing, finding fault -- I've felt myself edging in that direction for the last few months. The corporate office poisons everybody. It's almost impossible to be a nice, easygoing person with this company. Even middle managers can be seen walking around looking like they'd just been slapped -- you can practically see the palm prints on their cheeks. It's a toxic place. And while I know lots of corporations are just like this one, many are not. A large part of this recession has been about "doom and gloom," and it's contagious. So many corporate executives have been seduced into thinking "being nice or generous is for suckers. A penny spent is a penny wasted. There's human capital and the other kind, and they don't mix."

It's ingenious how this place (and so many others like it) has fostered the mentality that no one's job is safe. Not for a year, a month, a week, a day, or even minute to minute. You make one false step and....  There's backbiting and trash-talking all over the place. CYA! Loose lips sink ships!

Beverly's lucky, as is anyone who isn't chained to their job.


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