Saturday, October 19, 2013

You Can't Handle the Truth


This is a guest post by The Urban Blabbermouth. Comments are welcome!
I saw a commercial on TV where a cell phone was hooked up to  a stethoscope.  Amazing possibilities.   Your cell phone with the proper apps can now do medical things.  For example, your doctor can hook up an EKG monitoring device to you with a cell phone app.  At some point, maybe every five minutes, the medical data is sent to your doctor.   If the doctor sees something questionable, he calls you immediately.  It's like being in the hospital but you can still go about your regular daily activities.

Let's expand the use of this cell phone medical technology.   Let's install a lie detector app in your cell phone to monitor you.  Every time you speak, some light on your cell phone turns green If you are telling the truth or red if you are lying.  Imagine what that would do to dating where lots of lying goes on.  Not lying for evil purposes, mind you, but lying to make ourselves look more attractive to our date. How do you respond to, "Are you having a good time?" or to, "Yes, you have lost weight!"   What of the poetic lying of dating?  "I love you like the morning flower..."
You don't have to actually say anything but your thoughts will cause the lie detector app to flash on.   Your date tries to kiss you, you smile, but your thought is, "I would rather be dead."  BING, BING, the cell phone lie detector app starts to flash red!   More secret thoughts: "I love you madly and want to have your children although this is only our first date!"  and "Wham, Bam, thank you Ma'am."  BING, BING, more red flashes.

So, no more little white lies that keep us together and ease awkward situations.  Are we then forced to tell the truth?  "Yes, I only want to get into your pants and will never call you again."  A green flash. "Ahh, ... size does not matter."  I leave it to the lie detector app to figure out that one.

We are human so we do funny human things like lie to ourselves.  If I lie to myself, well, I want you to lie to me too!  We, quite rightly, will get upset if you start telling us the truth.  Try this: I want to know that you are lying to me but I do not want you to know that I am lying to you.

Never mind.  I can see that if a cell phone lie detector app were available, we would not want it.  It is too anti-human.