Skip to main content

Used Marriages for Sale

                     

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
I heard a commentator on TV say that the divorce rate is falling.  Here are his reasons:
  • Fewer people are marrying so less people to divorce. 
  • People are marrying at the end of their twenties rather than the start of their twenties.  The result is that a more mature person makes better decision in choice of a partner. 
  • People are living together as couples then marrying later.   This trial period does eliminate lots of bad choices of partners.
I have a simple solution to the divorce problem.  Are are you ready for it? Have marriages expire every five years.  You will be able to trade in your spouse every five years.  Sounds more like a Used Car commercial. "Marriage turned into a lemon? TRADE UP, not down!  Trade in and GET the latest model!  Great new  features to choose from:  wisdom, maturity, compatibility, same interests, more sex, better looking, and... you can even pick the color and the gender of your new spouse!"

If it sounds absurd to you,  think about it.  How different is that from today, where we marry, divorce, marry, divorce again, marry again.  Throw in a pre-nup agreement and we already have a predetermined end to the marriage.  All that is missing is an expiration date. Your state issues driver's licenses which have to be renewed.  Well, your state also issues marriage licenses.  I have no idea why the state is in the middle of marriages but as they are, they can expire it if they want.  BTW, your state does issue divorces, too should you want one. See my note on Divorce Equality for All.

I can hear you saying, "What happens to the children?" True, if there are children, there are problems.  There are already problems with children in divorces.  No change here.  I will yield and throw in a caveat to satisfy those worried about children -- the marriage will expire ten years from the birth of the youngest child.  I do not like this caveat because it will lead one person in the marriage to keep having babies to extend the marriage.

A five-year marriage expiration date takes the guesswork out of your marital bliss.  Since you know when your marriage will expire, you can plan for the change by hiding assets, or by starting a new relationship so you have a new spouse ready on expiration.  If you like your spouse, you can always renew. Think how much nicer you would have be to your spouse if you wanted to keep them.  Your spouse would have to be nicer to you too. Good benefits all around.

To renew or not to renew, that's the question.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Subway Journey Home

by The Urban Blabbermouth. Comments are welcome! ~ There is a ritual to theNew York City subway system. Once there, you lose your humanity.  You are transformed into a savage, brutal and selfish automaton.  Savage in that you push and shove other riders out of your way to get into the subway car.  Brutal in that you never excuse yourself for any atrocities that you commit to get in the subway car.  Selfish in that you never give up your seat to anyone, no matter how crippled or old or pregnant they are.  Automaton in that you never look at any one else as a human being.

Now there are certain strategies that you can employ to be a successful subway rider.  You can stand by the door and obstruct the way just to be selfish and ornery.  That strategy is designed to increase your standing with your fellow passengers by impressing them with how vicious you can be pushing back at people trying to push into the car.  Whenever I see this strategy employed, I immediately piggy back on it.  I move …

Gone Shopping

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
Dracula escorted his newly created undead aide into the store.

"...and you need to sleep in the daytime," he explained.

"But what are we doing here in Sleepy's Mattress store?" asked his aide. "I thought we slept in coffins."

"We are modern now," replied Dracula. "We use a mattress like anyone else. I tell you, after two hundred years of sleeping on rock and dirt, this is a joy. So much more comfortable and you don't have to haul it around from place to place."

"Amazing," said the aide.

"For a newbie like you, maybe you want to go traditional. Sleepy's has a Posturedic that will fit inside a coffin."

"What do you use?" asked the aide.

"I have a sleep-number bed. I love it. Mrs. Dracula can toss and turn and I don't feel it on my side."

"Now that you mention the ladies, I think I will skip the coffin. A moo…

Girl Fantasy

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
I am binge watching Lost Girl on Netflix.  It's a fantasy television show where the main character is a succubus.  A succubus is a demon who feeds on sexual energy.  You can imagine, with a premise like that, why this show was on TV for five years or so.  It's a light show, not much heavy drama or violence, but then I have only watched three episodes.

There are issues with Lost Girl.   Let's start with the obvious.  The succubus is a woman, not a man.  If the demon were a man, we would be uninterested in the show.  As we all know, men have that famous second brain that controls them.  It's just men being men to like, want, and actively pursue sex.  That's boring. 

There is a another reason that the succubus is a woman.  This implies that women who like, want, and actively pursues sex can only be demons.   I've got news for you, women have that second brain too.  It's just tiny compared to men's.  Maybe that's why …