Skip to main content

The Great White Hunter wears Air Jordans

                            

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
I was walking in the downtown area when I saw a line of young black men in front of Foot Locker. Foot Locker is an athletic shoe store. Apparently one of the shoe companies was re-issuing Air Jordan Retro sneakers for $300. 


As I passed the line, I overheard another passer-by in a conversation something like, “Huh, they are willing to stand on line for days to get sneakers. I wonder how many of them are willing to stand on line for days to get a book?” The implication of this conversation is that young black men are wasting their time waiting for shoes and could be doing more useful things for themselves, like reading a book.
 

That person missed the point completely. No one stands on line for days unless they see a benefit to themselves for doing so. And what are those benefits? Well just think, you are now the proud owner of a rare, hard to get, and expensive pair of Air Jordan Retros. People will see you in the shoes and make judgments on you. Exalted status is conferred upon you. Respect and admiration of your peers is conferred upon you. Knowledge from a book, as valuable as that is, is invisible and as such, is not seen by anyone, so no exalted status can be conferred upon you.

This is the same exalted status conferred on those who wear a huge diamond necklace or drive a Mercedes automobile. Those who have the diamonds and the Mercedes had to spend more than days, years really, working to afford these coveted items. Days waiting on line or years working in a cubicle, where's the difference? 


Now what can you do with this exalted status? If you are a young male, it shows to young girls that you are a cool guy, that you are capable of getting resources that no other guy can get, that you will be going places, that you have good prospects for your future, and that you will be an excellent husband and provider. In short, you are the Great Hunter and are excellent genetic material for her babies. 

So you see, there are benefits to waiting on line for days to get the Air Jordan Retros.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Subway Journey Home

by The Urban Blabbermouth. Comments are welcome! ~ There is a ritual to theNew York City subway system. Once there, you lose your humanity.  You are transformed into a savage, brutal and selfish automaton.  Savage in that you push and shove other riders out of your way to get into the subway car.  Brutal in that you never excuse yourself for any atrocities that you commit to get in the subway car.  Selfish in that you never give up your seat to anyone, no matter how crippled or old or pregnant they are.  Automaton in that you never look at any one else as a human being.

Now there are certain strategies that you can employ to be a successful subway rider.  You can stand by the door and obstruct the way just to be selfish and ornery.  That strategy is designed to increase your standing with your fellow passengers by impressing them with how vicious you can be pushing back at people trying to push into the car.  Whenever I see this strategy employed, I immediately piggy back on it.  I move …

Gone Shopping

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
Dracula escorted his newly created undead aide into the store.

"...and you need to sleep in the daytime," he explained.

"But what are we doing here in Sleepy's Mattress store?" asked his aide. "I thought we slept in coffins."

"We are modern now," replied Dracula. "We use a mattress like anyone else. I tell you, after two hundred years of sleeping on rock and dirt, this is a joy. So much more comfortable and you don't have to haul it around from place to place."

"Amazing," said the aide.

"For a newbie like you, maybe you want to go traditional. Sleepy's has a Posturedic that will fit inside a coffin."

"What do you use?" asked the aide.

"I have a sleep-number bed. I love it. Mrs. Dracula can toss and turn and I don't feel it on my side."

"Now that you mention the ladies, I think I will skip the coffin. A moo…

Girl Fantasy

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
I am binge watching Lost Girl on Netflix.  It's a fantasy television show where the main character is a succubus.  A succubus is a demon who feeds on sexual energy.  You can imagine, with a premise like that, why this show was on TV for five years or so.  It's a light show, not much heavy drama or violence, but then I have only watched three episodes.

There are issues with Lost Girl.   Let's start with the obvious.  The succubus is a woman, not a man.  If the demon were a man, we would be uninterested in the show.  As we all know, men have that famous second brain that controls them.  It's just men being men to like, want, and actively pursue sex.  That's boring. 

There is a another reason that the succubus is a woman.  This implies that women who like, want, and actively pursues sex can only be demons.   I've got news for you, women have that second brain too.  It's just tiny compared to men's.  Maybe that's why …