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The Samsung Galaxy phone


                           

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
Press release -- Samsung to sell new Galaxy phone

Samsung announced a new model of their highly successful Galaxy cell phone.  The model is called The Galaxy DT and is aimed at the single unmarried consumer.

Last year, Samsung has released its Galaxy MD model.  The Galaxy MD allowed your doctor to hook up an EKG monitoring device to you. Through your Galaxy MD, your doctor received your medical data every five minutes.  Renowned Cardiologist from the University of Medicine, Dr. Knowitall stated, “If the doctor sees something questionable, he calls you immediately.  It's like being in the hospital but you can still go about your regular daily activities.”  Added his colleague, Dr. Cuthimnow, “It’s a life saver.”

The Galaxy DT expands the medical capabilities of the Galaxy MD.  The Galaxy DT has a built-in Lie Detector.  Samsung spokesman, Joe Listener, explained that, “The Galaxy DT is aimed at the single dating community.  Imagine what that would do to dating where lots of lying goes on.  Not lying for evil purposes, mind you, but lying to make ourselves look more attractive to our date.  Every time you speak, some light on your cell phone turns green If you are telling the truth or red if you are lying.”

Mr. Listener explained that the Galaxy DT was extensively tested in focus groups.  “We examined consumer responds to, ‘Are you having a good time?’ to, ‘Yes, you have lost weight!’  and to the poetic lying of dating, ‘I love you like the morning flower."

One feature of the new Lie Detector is that you don't have to actually speak but your thoughts will cause the lie detector app to flash on.  Mr. listener cited a case in the focus group testing where a date tried a kiss but the customer’s thought was, "I would rather be dead."  The Galaxy DT chimed BING, BING, and  started to flash red!   Other secret thoughts tested were, "I love you madly and want to have your children although this is only our first date!" and, "Wham, Bam, thank you Ma'am."  BING, BING, more red flashes.

Samsung has aimed the initial marketing of the Galaxy DT towards women.  Mr. Listener pointed out that “Women in particular want to know their date’s thinking, ‘Yes’, I only want to get into your pants and will never call you again."  The Galaxy DT flashed green.

The Samsung spokesman cautioned that not all remarks are so easily verified.  In testing, the Lie Detector app did experience some difficulty when the date remarked, "Ahh, ... size does not matter."

Psychologist Dr. Mindmatter doubted that consumer acceptance for the Galaxy DT is so simple.  “We are human so we do funny human things like lie to ourselves.  If I lie to myself, well, I want you to lie to me too!  We, quite rightly, will get upset if you start telling us the truth.  Try this: I want to know that you are lying to me but I do not want you to know that I am lying to you.  No more little white lies that keep us together and ease awkward situations.  Are we then forced to tell the truth? “

The Galaxy DT will be available in October.

see original blog  You Can't Handle the Truth

Comments

Michelle said…
Haha amusing concept. Phones already do almost everything already these days. Why not a health monitoring app or a lie detector? Though I'm thinking some of these dates would probably get pretty awkward with all that flashing.

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