Thursday, August 14, 2014

Walmart for Senator

                         

by The Urban Blabbermouth
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The Supreme Court of the United States did something that I though only God could do, they created a new human being.  According to the Supreme Court, there are now Men, Women, and Corporations.  Yup, Corporations are now people.  The Supreme Court created people corporations out of thin air.

Previously, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are entitled to free speech rights and in just these past few months, ruled that Corporations have religious beliefs and are entitled to the religious freedoms enshrined in the Constitution.  Yes, Corporations are are now Christians.  This is the final transformation of corporations from man-made entities into Children of God.



If you doubt this, ask yourself what can you do that a corporation cannot?  Corporations can own houses and they pay taxes. Corporations can get sick (red ink and bankruptcy) and they can die (Dissolution by Proclamation).  When Corporations marry, we call that a merger.  Corporations can have children too, we call them subsidiaries and their families are called Conglomerates.
 
Now that Corporations have achieved person status, what will they do, run for President?  Not so far fetched.   Let’s start smaller and run for Mayor.  Here is how to do it.  First, create a corporation whose sole business is to run for Mayor.  Pick a corporate name that is electable like “Jennifer Government” (Jennifer Government is a book by Max Barry).  Then put up Jennifer Government as the candidate.  Promote her candidacy using the catchy nickname, JGov.  Can you imagine if the name chosen was Ford.  You wouldn’t know if you were voting for the Ford Corporation or Edsel Ford, Henry Ford’s great-grandson.

So then, it is a corporation who will hold the seat of Mayor not a person.  The Mayor’s Office becomes an asset of JGov.  JGov’s Board of Directors can choose the person who will act on behalf of the corporation as Mayor.  Probably get a title like Vice President of City Mayor.  If the Board does not like what the VP is doing, they can fire him and pick another person.  Voters will have nothing to say about this.

Soon after, JGov is running for more Mayorships.  There will be a Senior VP for East Coast Mayors, and another for West Coast Mayors and so on.  Eventually, JGov will run for Congress and for the Presidency.

Since it is the President who nominates and Congress who confirms Supreme Court Judges, JGov replaces the Supreme Court Judges with…Corporations.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

Corporations seem to have a more solidified set of rights then many people... Frightening thought.

The Urban Blabbermouth said...

Sometimes it's not clear which is more worrisome, government overreach or corporate greed.