by The Urban Blabbermouth
I overheard a conversation while in the shopping mall. The people were saying that the pope was not following the Bible and that he was misleading people and that he is a devil. I presume that they were speaking of the Roman Catholic Pope.
Normally, I do not intrude on other people’s conversation but I could not help myself. You could say that God made me do it. I told them that for all the bad things they are saying about the pope, they can rest assured that the pope is also saying bad things about them. They were shocked. No doubt they are now saying bad things about me too. Rest assured that I too will be saying bad things about them.
We Christians (and that includes me!) are a stupid bunch. We all read the same Bible and yet we all have different ideas of what the Bible says. I don't get this. Was God so unclear? Nope, I blame King James. He had the Bible translated into English. If he left the Bible in Greek none of us could read it and we would have avoided these mis-readings of the Bible.
Another thing I don't get is why Christians go out to convert other Christians to Christianity. Makes no sense to me. What is the point to convert a Christian who believes in God and Jesus into a Christian who believes in God and Jesus. Surely there are a few Muslims and Buddhists out there in the world who would benefit from some Christian enlightenment.
Well, turns out that there is a right kind of Christian and a wrong kind of Christian. The difference is, "If you agree with me then you are the right kind of Christian. If you agree with me then that entitles you to the Blessings that God offers in the Bible." That's the royal me, not me personally.
I, who have read the English version of the Bible, will now reveal a heretofore unknown and unwanted truth:
Although they would never admit it, the other Christian groups are envious of the Pope.
The pope is at the top of the religious heap. The pope has influence all over the world, has all that church money at his disposal, and has all those huge Gothic cathedrals. The other Christians say bad things about the pope, hoping to elevate themselves and to eventually replace him.
I, who have read the English version of the Bible for a second time, will now reveal another unwanted truth:
Send someone around to convert the pope into the right kind of Christian, then tell him that he has to share.
Amen brother, Amen.