Skip to main content

Lilly - Elevator Pitch

                          Image result for flirting with her personal trainer

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
Lilly is a natural storyteller.  She is so good that all she needs is a seed remark and she will tell you a story to go with your remark.   Plus, she can tell the story in the time that it takes for an elevator to go from the thirtieth floor to the lobby.  She is so good that I have deleted my story and will, instead, tell you hers.

I meet Lilly in the elevator and just to be ornery, I say to her, "Girl's pick-up line."

Lilly laughs and says, "Guys are so easy.  All I have to do is send them a signal that I am interested and they will run with it.  I was in the gym and there was Mr. Hunk working with a weight machine.  I didn't know him but I wanted to.  So I go over and I stand next to him. 

He sees me watching him and he says, 'Can I help you?'

I answer, 'I want to work on my abs.  Are you a trainer?'

He replies, 'No but I can help you.'

After ten minutes of exercises and me pretending that I am interested in working my abs and he pretending to train my abs, I say to him, 'Is this as physical as we are going to get?"


Score: Lilly - 10, Me - 0.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Memoir - The Year of Kent State

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
I wanted to write a fictional memoir and it got away from me. 

Original
I was born in the Year of Kent State. I didn't know. I was watching a cable channel specializing in historical programs, in this case, newsworthy events from the 1970s. The Ohio National Guard shot 13 unarmed students protesting the Vietnam War on the Kent State University campus. Four students died. By the time I was aware of a bigger world than my own, Kent State passed into history.

Im gonna git u Sukkah

by The Urban Blabbermouth [who may or may not be shown in the photo above... - v-E] ~ True story. I am walking to my car and I notice a couple of Jewish fellows, twenty somethings, with the bouquets of what looks like bamboo or palm. I know they are Jewish for they look Hasidic. They are wearing long black jackets, wide brim black fedora hats, and have curly sideburns. In truth, I classify all Jewish who dress like this as Hasidic although they may identify themselves differently. They are standing near the corner canvassing passersby.

Climbing to New Heights

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
It started when I was ten.  I was riding shotgun with my father when a small plane crossed the highway in front of us.  The plane floated gently to its landing, like it had all the time in the world.  It was beautiful.  I knew then I wanted to be a pilot.  

I dreamed of soaring with the clouds and flying through them.  I could go anywhere the crow flies.  No stuck in traffic following a road as laid out by some anonymous engineer.  I could fly with the birds, although, I never thought myself a bird.  I loved the freedom.

But, I fear heights.  

It's not just any heights, it's low heights, the kind you get with stairs, balconies, bridges, and landing airplanes.  When I fly on airlines as a passenger, I look out the window at thirty thousand feet, no fear.  Somewhere between six feet, my height, and thirty thousand feet, airplane's height, lives my fear, a mysterious feeling that emerges from my stomach and rises up into my chest.  I can't…