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Wontcha let me treatcha?

                     
by Vol-E

Getting right to the point: I'm tired of people doing for me. Yes, you read that right. I want to pick up the tab for a change.  I just spent about a week with friends, and didn't get to contribute anything. These are people I've known forever, and about 15 years ago, when my finances were about as low as they were going to get (and stayed that way for a LONG time), every time I was with them, they paid my way. And that's fine, because if they hadn't, there would have been no visits, no dinners, no sightseeing, no entertainment, no nothin'. I was the original Brokey McBrokeface. These friends bought me a VCR. Which, in those days, was kind of a big deal. DVD players were barely becoming popular, but we had no DVDs, just plenty of tapes and nothing to play them on.

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have nothing to fear from me -- and if The Urban Blabbermouth can persuade Mr. Gates to adopt his giveaway plan and put me on that list of 80,000, I will take it without a syllable of protest. I'm still paying taxes I owe from about 8 years ago; I still budget very tightly, and I still only go to the movies 2-3 times a year. But having been "there" for so many years, I'm in an excellent position to know that things have improved. 

I can pay my own way. I'm tired of pulling out my wallet, only to have the friend, the cousin, the person who goes "way back" with me give me that look and ask "Are you sure?"

Yes, dammit. I am NOT a charity case.

I was playing around with Facebook Messenger a few weeks ago, and learned that you can send people money with it. I got hold of my buddy (she of the VCR) and decided to test out the app. I sent her a dollar. Or, as we used to say when we were growing up in NY together, a dolla. 

She sent it back. 

*#@&!

If I'm out with someone and have a reasonable expectation that they're going to pick up the tab (people who are traveling on business and have an allowance, let us say), I find the cheapest thing on the menu with no add-ons. But if you see me ordering the Delmonico ribeye and a mixed drink or two, would you PLEASE  assume we're going "Dutch" at the very least? I might not be able to pay for you, but will be very insulted if you presume to pay for me. I am not a moocher. I felt like one for too many years to ever go back.

And, as an aside to The Urban Blabbermouth: Thank you very much for the pizza and ice cream last October. Next time, it's on me.


Comments

The Urban Blabbermouth said…
As always, you bring up interesting and deep thoughts on social relationships. I love it.

We have a tradition of helping each other. That is how humanity has managed to get this far. It's hard to tell when the help is no longer wanted so we err on over doing.

We also have a tradition of treating guests in our homes as if they are royals. It is considered good manners. We can over do that too. Its is tradition for the guest to politely turn down some of this royal treatment so it hard to tell where the line of over doing really is.

I have been on both sides of his fence and it is years later, when it is too late, that I have realized what I should and should not have done. I think the next time I will do better but I still mess it up. Oh well...
Vol-E said…
...and it's a scientifically proven fact that pizza and ice cream always taste best in the company of good friends, especially when it's been about 18 years since you last saw them. Just remember, you're royalty too.

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