Skip to main content

Boring is Good

       Image result for space alien with magnifying glass
by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
Louie muttered to himself, "I'm so bored.  I wish something interesting would happen."


A green Martian stepped though the wall of Louie's bedroom, zapped him with a ray gun.  "Gotcha," said the Martian as he picked up Louie and threw him into the hunting bag.

The Martian, Gork, was a procurer.  The scientists on Mars hired him to gather humans for their experiments and they paid well for it.  Gork muttered to himself, "Hunting humans is boring.  I wish to hunt Venusians.  At least their telepathy told them you were coming before you got here. More challenging to catch."

A yellow Uranian stepped through the wall of Gork's spaceship and threw a net over him.  "Gotcha," said the Uranian as the net was dragged by a cable through the ship's wall. 

The Uranian, Kork, was a procurer.  The anthropologists on Uranus hired him to gather specimens for their zoo and they paid well for it.  Kork muttered to himself, "I love hunting Martians.  They are so easy to catch.  I hate hunting Venusians. Their telepathy told them you were coming before you got here.  Too challenging to catch."

If you must know, Louie, the human, eventually died, forgotten on the Martian spaceship.

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Subway Journey Home

by The Urban Blabbermouth. Comments are welcome! ~ There is a ritual to theNew York City subway system. Once there, you lose your humanity.  You are transformed into a savage, brutal and selfish automaton.  Savage in that you push and shove other riders out of your way to get into the subway car.  Brutal in that you never excuse yourself for any atrocities that you commit to get in the subway car.  Selfish in that you never give up your seat to any one no matter how cripple and old and pregnant they are.  Automaton in that you never look at any one else as a human being.

Now there are certain strategies that you can employ to be a successful subway rider.  You can stand by the door and obstruct the way just to be selfish and ornery.  That strategy is designed to increase your standing with your fellow passengers by impressing them with how vicious you can be pushing back at people trying to push into the car.  Whenever I see this strategy employed, I immediately piggy back on it.  I move…

Encyclopedia Brown Bear

by The Urban Blabbermouth
~
At an age when other children decide to set up lemonade stands, Baby Bear decided to start a detective agency. His decision resulted from his experience in the Goldilocks home invasion. If you don't know this well-publicized crime case, Google Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Baby Bear wanted to become a policeman to help the other denizens of the Forest with their troubles and to maintain justice for all. Alas, the police did not accept children as applicants.

Baby Bear ran to his community library and borrowed the renowned guide, The Hardy Boys' Detective Handbook. Baby Bear spent the next twenty days, the library's lending period, studying the text. He chose the business name of "Encyclopedia Brown Bear Detective Agency" after his hero, Leroy "Encyclopedia” Brown. Baby Bear's dad hung the business sign across the garage door and opened a folding card table and four chairs in the entrance below.

On the first day, the Big Bad Wolf…

Im gonna git u Sukkah

by The Urban Blabbermouth [who may or may not be shown in the photo above... - v-E] ~ True story. I am walking to my car and I notice a couple of Jewish fellows, twenty somethings, with the bouquets of what looks like bamboo or palm. I know they are Jewish for they look Hasidic. They are wearing long black jackets, wide brim black fedora hats, and have curly sideburns. In truth, I classify all Jewish who dress like this as Hasidic although they may identify themselves differently. They are standing near the corner canvassing passersby.