Sunday, January 17, 2016

My Billion Dollar Lottery Win

                         
by The Urban Blabbermouth
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I am preoccupied these days thinking about the lottery and that 1.6 BILLION dollars I shockingly didn't win.  There are other lotteries of course.  The most famous lottery is a short story by Shirley Jackson called, The Lottery.  I am not going to tell you about that story.  You will have to read it to find out why it's so famous.  Another famous lottery that had my attention was the military draft back in the Vietnam War years.  

Now that this particular drawing is one for the history books, there is only one thing to do: Start planning for the next one.

So what will I do with this money, this 1.6 BILLION dollars?  First how much would I have to work with?  The cash amount is some 900 MILLION.  That's a big number and more money than I can comprehend.  That is more money than all my family's income for the last thousand years added together, assuming that I can trace all of them. 

There are some 100 people who work in my part of the company.  We all could get four million each and that includes the people I don't like, and there would still be money left over.  We could all retire the next day.  Think how many companies' executive leaders dread a win in one of the office pools.

I assume that half of the 900 MILLION dollars will disappear in taxes - it always does!  So I end up with 450 MILLION dollars.  If I want to give away a couple of millions or so to all the people I know, I would have to pay a gift tax.  The money is taxed twice, once for me winning it and second for me giving it away.  Imagine that, the government taxes you for being generous.  That ain't right.

My wife has to get a share too.  It's only right that she gets half.  Share and share alike.  It's her reward for marrying me other than having me as her husband of course.  So that leaves me with 225 MILLION.  Wait a minute, wasn't the lottery winner suppose to get 1.6 BILLION?

Ultimately, as far as I can see, it comes down to what would I like to do for myself.  I would like a new house.  I don't want a mansion because I cannot fathom what I would do in a twenty bedroom house where there will be parts of the house that I never use or ever visit.  I would like a larger bedroom, a gym, a pool, a huge air conditioned/heated garage with marble floors for my seven cars - one for each day, a library, and an office where I can work to figure out what to do with the rest of this money.  What a tough job.