Wednesday, April 6, 2016

How The Cow Jumped Over the Moon


By the Urban Blabbermouth
The captain of the guard held the thief by the neck as the guardsmen watched and smiled.

The captain also smiled and said to the thief, "You are in big trouble for this.  The goddess is unmerciful to thieves.  She tosses them alive into the fires of hell and dances to the screams of their agony." 

The captain continued, "I must thank you, for standing guard has been dull.  Not many thieves try to steal the goddess's jewels anymore."  The captain sighed, "But the goddess, she commands us to stand duty nonetheless."  Then the captain brightened, "You will make some fine entertainment this night."

The captain turned to the first guardsman near him and commanded, "Tie him up and take him to the throne room.  I will alert the goddess."

The goddess apparated on her golden throne.  She wore a simple green gown, a crown encrusted with pearls, and a matching pearl necklace. 

The captain bowed and reported, "Goddess, we caught this thief in your jewelry chamber."

The goddess looked at the thief kneeling before her and noticed was he was very young.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen," whispered the thief.

The captain hit him on the head. "Louder, and address the goddess as goddess."

"Nineteen, goddess."

"How be it that you are such a young thief?"

"It was a girl, goddess.  I fell in love and promised to bring her the moon.  I heard a legend that each full moon was one of the pearls of your necklace and I sought it for her, to show her my love."

"My, you are a foolish boy.  Does she love you?"

"She has not said so goddess but I hope to win her love with this gift."

"Well, your love will now cost you your life.  Have you also heard of my punishment for thievery?"

"Yes goddess, the captain told me."

"Prepare yourself for a painful and agonizing death.  By the way, how did you get into my jewelry chamber?  It is well guarded and the chamber is in one of my highest towers and you should not have gotten that far."

"I walked up a moonbeam to the window and stepped in, goddess."

The goddess began to smile, "Release him," she commanded the captain, "and let him approach me."

The goddess broke her necklace and removed one pearl.

"Here, give this to your girl.  Captain, escort this thief to the main entrance and let him go."

"As you command goddess. May I beg permission to ask why?"

"You may, for only a man, heart light with true love, can walk on a moonbeam."