Skip to main content

Bits and Pieces

     Image result for bits pieces
by The Urban Blabbermouth
A home for the bits and pieces of my mind.

Special note of thanks to Micaela Lattanzio, whose work can be viewed at

There once was a show Bewitched
whose star was a pretty witch
she became an actress
to eased her distress
caused by a nose with an incurable twitch

Two fireflies go to a tavern.  They order Red Bull.
The barfly serves the drinks and says, "because it give you wings!"
The lady firefly smiles and says, "no silly, because it lights us up."

"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two steps forward.
"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two steps forward.
"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two...

The wand was four feet long.
"What happened?" asked the Wand Maker.
"I was telling my marlin fishing story when the wand began growing," replied the Wizard.
"Hmmm, odd magic indeed,” said the Wand Maker, consulting his Compendium. “Lore declares the Core came from a creature called Pinocchio."

Ho-Ro's sleepy head fell on the transporter console. Animals from the Aswan Zoo appeared three seconds later in a biological jumble. A creature, half lion half eagle, arose. To hide his mistake, Ho-Ro transported the Gryphon back three thousand years to Ancient Egypt, thus a myth was born.

A Wolf met a one-armed man. “What happened to your arm?”
“A sharknado bit it off. The impudent sharknado told me it was tasty.”
“Terrible. How is your other arm?”
The man showed his arm. The Wolf bit it off.
The Wolf nodded, “the sharknado was right.”

Father Robert was a secret of the Vatican, a priest gifted with magic.  For a priest, he was a superstitious man.  Well, who would not be if their work was battling demons.  Father Robert always began his assignments with, "bring forth the Holy Wand."


Popular posts from this blog

Memoir - The Year of Kent State

by The Urban Blabbermouth
I wanted to write a fictional memoir and it got away from me. 

I was born in the Year of Kent State. I didn't know. I was watching a cable channel specializing in historical programs, in this case, newsworthy events from the 1970s. The Ohio National Guard shot 13 unarmed students protesting the Vietnam War on the Kent State University campus. Four students died. By the time I was aware of a bigger world than my own, Kent State passed into history.

Im gonna git u Sukkah

by The Urban Blabbermouth [who may or may not be shown in the photo above... - v-E] ~ True story. I am walking to my car and I notice a couple of Jewish fellows, twenty somethings, with the bouquets of what looks like bamboo or palm. I know they are Jewish for they look Hasidic. They are wearing long black jackets, wide brim black fedora hats, and have curly sideburns. In truth, I classify all Jewish who dress like this as Hasidic although they may identify themselves differently. They are standing near the corner canvassing passersby.

Climbing to New Heights

by The Urban Blabbermouth
It started when I was ten.  I was riding shotgun with my father when a small plane crossed the highway in front of us.  The plane floated gently to its landing, like it had all the time in the world.  It was beautiful.  I knew then I wanted to be a pilot.  

I dreamed of soaring with the clouds and flying through them.  I could go anywhere the crow flies.  No stuck in traffic following a road as laid out by some anonymous engineer.  I could fly with the birds, although, I never thought myself a bird.  I loved the freedom.

But, I fear heights.  

It's not just any heights, it's low heights, the kind you get with stairs, balconies, bridges, and landing airplanes.  When I fly on airlines as a passenger, I look out the window at thirty thousand feet, no fear.  Somewhere between six feet, my height, and thirty thousand feet, airplane's height, lives my fear, a mysterious feeling that emerges from my stomach and rises up into my chest.  I can't…