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Bits and Pieces

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by The Urban Blabbermouth
A home for the bits and pieces of my mind.

Special note of thanks to Micaela Lattanzio, whose work can be viewed at

There once was a show Bewitched
whose star was a pretty witch
she became an actress
to eased her distress
caused by a nose with an incurable twitch

Two fireflies go to a tavern.  They order Red Bull.
The barfly serves the drinks and says, "because it give you wings!"
The lady firefly smiles and says, "no silly, because it lights us up."

"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two steps forward.
"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two steps forward.
"Ouch," said the blind man as he bumped his head on the tree trunk. He took one step to the left and two...

The wand was four feet long.
"What happened?" asked the Wand Maker.
"I was telling my marlin fishing story when the wand began growing," replied the Wizard.
"Hmmm, odd magic indeed,” said the Wand Maker, consulting his Compendium. “Lore declares the Core came from a creature called Pinocchio."

Ho-Ro's sleepy head fell on the transporter console. Animals from the Aswan Zoo appeared three seconds later in a biological jumble. A creature, half lion half eagle, arose. To hide his mistake, Ho-Ro transported the Gryphon back three thousand years to Ancient Egypt, thus a myth was born.

A Wolf met a one-armed man. “What happened to your arm?”
“A sharknado bit it off. The impudent sharknado told me it was tasty.”
“Terrible. How is your other arm?”
The man showed his arm. The Wolf bit it off.
The Wolf nodded, “the sharknado was right.”

Father Robert was a secret of the Vatican, a priest gifted with magic.  For a priest, he was a superstitious man.  Well, who would not be if their work was battling demons.  Father Robert always began his assignments with, "bring forth the Holy Wand."


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