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Showing posts from March 10, 2018

Zombie Dinner Table

It wasn’t the half-eaten heads littering her backyard that upset Grandma. Nor the splintered backdoor. It was the bad manners.

"Ugg!” Grandma shuddered. "Those unruly zombies ate with their hands. I shall teach them the benefits of knives, forks, and napkins.”

"Grandma, I don't think zombies are interested in improving their table manners."

"Pish," she said, "they are in dire need of training."  Pointing at me, "I am appointing you Aide-de-Camp. Go get the bear traps and shotguns. We are going recruiting students."

We baited the trap with chunks of fat-soaked pig brains. The first zombie came by reached in with his hands and BANG, the trap snapped. The zombie stopped a moment. The zombie just looked at his stumps and continued to try for the bait.

"You know grandma, maybe bear traps are a bit too much here. You can’t teach a zombie table manners if he has no hands."

"I see what you mean," nodded Grandma. She s…